Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Mad Dogs and Englishmen

"I figure... if I can remember all their names, then I am not a slut." - Anonymous (Post Secret)

Sorry I have taken so long to update but the last couple of weeks have been MENTAL! So, I worked the London motor show at Excel and it was alot like I expected- summer camp for adults! 14 straight days of 10 hour shifts and 10 hour parties after. I have been in every Mazda boot made (yes, I fit perfectly in the MX-5 boot as well!), we played 'Hide the Sweet' in the cars, had an ice fight at the hotel (we almost got thrown out on 3 separate occasions), and I spent a night curled up with Englishman #1 in a single bed with another couple in the one next to us. :)
I know it seems that all I do is party these days but please note that I was rewarded and praised for my hard work and knowledge by my peers and superiors. It was a pleasure to work hard and get results so hooray for a little confidence building! My colleagues were really fun people and welcomed me into the group with open arms. Yes, that includes Englishman #1! We were all out at the pub next to the exhibition center a few nights in and I noticed he was paying alot more attention to me than usual and I liked it. We had some good convo and chemistry so when we got back to the room I was sharing with another girl, we peeked in and found she wasn't there. Bonus! We didn't waste any time and had pretty much destroyed the room (Englishmen aren't always cold though they ARE polite- 'Are you alright?' was a new one for me in the sack... ) when my roommate opened the door and said my name. E #1 zipped off into the loo while I laughed and donned his jumper. The girl and her boyfriend came in smiling and he called out, 'You can come out mate!' Classic! The guy I had shagged has a girlfriend so unfortunately things were not too comfortable between us for the rest of the the assignment but that's ok.
The next night, we were out as a group again at the same pub which I suppose we can label as our temporary local and I offered a floater my sofa bed (I had switched to a double room alone that day). The guy was tall lean and cute and yep, English! I was curious about this English politeness thing and was happy to give him a try. He was a great shag with a huge cazzo but I was really confused by the utter gratitude he showed in bed. This is not a bad thing but was unexpected I guess. I am accustomed to European men- confident, entitled, and experienced. I spoke with the other gals on the stand and we decided there was only one thing for it- take a survey of Englishmen to see if they were all this way. The survey consisted of 5 questions:
1. Are you English? Duh.
2. Are you polite in bed? Yes, No, Depends
3. Fantasy location for sex?
4. Fantasy outfit on a girl for sex?
5. Are you Dom, sub, or switch?
We had so much fun asking these questions! So the results:
1. Duh.
2. Yes- 37%, Depends- 37%, No- 26%
3. Most popular were a tie between 'On a Beach' and 'On an Aircraft'. Oddest was 'On a Catamaran at Full Speed'.
4. Most popular was 'Naked'?! Oddest was 'Parking Attendant'.
5. Dom- 10%, Sub- 10%, Switch- 80%
I hope this information is useful to you all and informs any decision to try one (or 3) out. So on to Englishman #3, a sailor in HRM's Royal Navy. It had to happen eventually that I would come down to breakfast and say I woke up to a sailor in my bed! He's a sweet puppy and I am fairly sure at this point that I could never be truly serious about an Englishman but I am still going on a date with him tonight. It's all in good fun my darlings! I've got alot of work coming up and then a trip to Italy and a visit from my brother. Yay! BTW, funny little side note here- E#2 and the sailor have the same first name, thus the quote on the top of this post. If I just stick with a few names I won't be in danger of being a slut after all! It's brilliant! Hehe.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Transitions

"Promise I will be forever yours. Promise not to say another word. Never mind, what's done is done. Always was a lucky one." - Foo Fighters

I am trying all kinds of new things these days. I am seeking out my boundaries. As I walked through the park with Riccardo this morning from his, I pointed out where I run, where I was proposed to by my stalker a few days ago, and where I cry... then I realised that I haven't gone there to cry in days. So let me start this post by introducing some new characters and dismissing others.
I have finally released Reuben. My heart is still his but I have now passed into the phase of not trying to push my esteem on him. I honestly hope he gained something pleasant from our time together and now I will keep my pain away from him. It is the only thing I can think of to give to him at this point. So I remain helpless but resigned on that front. On to other things...
I have not been shagging much lately. Murad was my last for weeks (until Riccardo) and he did come to visit me Sunday but I don't know, maybe just felt overwhelmed by the 7 marriage proposals I have had in the last weeks. One of those was from Murad and when I asked why, he listed my nice hands (apparently an Algerian criterion) as one reason. While chatting with Riccardo ( I know you don't know who he is yet but be patient my darlings), he made a cheeky comment that I must be a living goddess or else they are putting something in our water. Sir Satire suggested that the influx of marital interest is based on my vulnerability. All I know is that I remain honoured but confused on that front.
In the last days, I have had a variety of experiences. Couldn't get with cyber-sex boy because of work commitments so started getting restless. Found my Riccardo in a web community we both belong to and enjoyed chatting with him so much that I just had to go there! He is my neighbour as well so how convenient is that?! Complete coincidence and we get along very well so hopefully you will learn more about him in the future. For now, I will say he has a wonderfully active mind and a cazzo bello and that will have to suffice.
So I went to my girl, Valentina's on Thursday and we bought some fantastic charlie while I got a haircut. The night ended oddly but we are cool so it's all good. London living is mad!
Emilio's birthday was yesterday but still felt I need to stay away. I will try to see him tomorrow. Cri is anxious to see me again and is trying to sort a visit to me while I am working and I am going back to Italia in mid August. So much to do but tonight I am chilling at home while my flatmate makes us dinner...

Friday, July 11, 2008

A Soak in the Tub

"After all, one knows one's weak points so well, that it's rather bewildering to have the critics overlook them and invent others." - Edith Wharton

Sud?! Alex asked me at our daily crossword session today. Yeah, like from the wash, I responded. You never get just one sud! Fine, I conceded the clue must indeed be sad instead of sud. I booked the hotel in Oxford for tomorrow night, he said, we have two twin beds in one room. Is that alright? I giggled. My sweet flatmate can be so old-fashioned sometimes. I am remembering all the mad nights in my house in the states where 4 or 5 people crammed their way into my double bed for a sleep. Just fine, I said as I wrote in 'altitude'. I am glad Alex is in a good mood with me after the last few days. Let me explain...
I got another job. It pays well and is contract based and is for an automobile company here. Nice to be driven again. Hehe. Anyway, training day was Wednesday and after, Alex and Debs took me out to celebrate my new employed status. We went for tapas and I managed to eat a large quantity of seafood in between visits to the loo with Debs. I didn't have that much charlie left but we made do. The place was closing so I suggested we go to the Mexican joint for mojitos. Alex has decided the Albanians are trouble so refused but Debs and I were up so I texted down to make us drinks and stay open. Alex got humpy and tried to impose a curfew on me. Debs defended me which ended with her storming out with me trailing and trying to make peace. We hopped a cab while Alex walked home. Eek. The Albanians wanted us to go for a bit of an after party but we went all feminist and walked each other home instead.
The next night, I told a fib about playing pool to go back down. Alex can be such a cop! I sat at the bar while Beny had a meeting and chatted with Emilio. Why did your friend ask for my number? He asked. Oh, gods, I need more wine for that question, I responded. I can't, he said, he's my cousin. I would love to but can't. Sure, I understand. I blushed! I went into the loo for a bump and then went for a cigarette intending to leave after. As I smoked, my stalker walked by and paused. Fuck. I rushed back into the bar and he followed. What's wrong? Emilio asked. I explained and he said not to worry, they would look after me. Aww... Stalker sat next to me (turns out, btw, he is Albanian also) so I went to the upstairs bar. He tried to follow but my guys told him it was a private party. So he sat and watched the stairs all night. I was trapped upstairs for the duration but had fun flirting with the bartenders and dancing. Emilio and Beny checked on me regularly and I felt completely helpless. I like Emilio. I want to go on a date with him instead of just a shag and it is the first time I have felt like that since Roo. Can't see how to work that out though. Jeepers.
The next night I met up with Alex to play pool. We listened to 60's music and laughed our tails off. There is a weird old guy that hangs in my local and this anecdote must be reported. Did you reach in your pocket today? A guy at the bar shouted to him. This means 'have you paid for a drink today?'. Of course, I have a wank every day! The man responded. I don't think I potted a ball after that, I was laughing too hard! So random!
I had dinner alone and worked on learning job stuff. I stopped by the Mexican place to thank the guys for looking out for me. The atmosphere was a little tense so I'm going to stay away for awhile. This will not be difficult. My plans with shy artist fell through since he is suffering pretty badly right now and needs to heal. Alex and I are going to Oxford instead to visit Valentina where she is pretending to detox. Gods, I love that girl!
Monday, my cyber-sex companion is coming up for a picnic and a shag in the park. Toddalicious says stranger sex rocks so I can't wait to report! Stay tuned...
P.s. Due to increased water, exercise, detox tea, and vitamins, your Gattina is getting sorted physically so cheers to your health and mine!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Lying in my Cage (Bound and Abandoned)

"If suffer we must, let's suffer on the heights." -Victor Hugo

Every few nights, I walk alone in the woods and weep for at least an hour and mourn. I mourn for the loss of Reuben, the loss of our baby, and the loss of my sanity. I weep across the ocean to my brother and I weep across time to my own, lost self.
I smile and laugh the rest of the time. I sleep with whoever/whenever and do any/every drug at hand while getting pissed off my face as well. I try not to contact Reuben but fail at times and his harsh responses only fuel my self-destruction. The funny thing is that while lost in this horrid fog, I have had three marriage proposals. What about this pathetic state makes me attractive and 'mate material'?
In other more fun news, I had the best cyber-sex ever with a guy I met for about 5 minutes in Tunbridge Wells which resulted in an orgasm that twitched and tingled me even more than my daily DT's! Fantastic! Gods, I needed that!
The average bet on my mortality is 32 years old but surely my friends (as usual) overestimate me so we'll see. My shy artist is going through a bad time so I hope to go down to the country and commiserate with him this coming weekend. Murad calls me daily and I hope to see him this week. Texted one of Roo's friends, Scotty, yesterday to see if he would get together for a chat about Roo but he didn't respond. Ok, so I get guy code (see Albania) but he didn't have such a problem when he was feeling up my ass and kissing my face gently when Reuben was out of town!
When did boys become the fickle, secretive ones?!
I am thinking on the proposals to me and certainly I could use looking after. I've always feared commitment (especially marriage), but can anyone put Gattina in a cage that is more restricting than the one she has built for herself?


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Art and Life, Imitating

"Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere." - G.K. Chesterton

Well, my dears, I got sacked this morning for not coming home last night. Whoopsie! Ah well, back to good old London. So here's the latest...
I went to Murad's for dinner. He cooked me risotto con funghi, fava beans in Egyptian sauce, asparagus, salad, and chocolate soufflé with fresh strawberries. Yummm... I was completely disoriented by not cooking myself but spent the time drinking so that's alright. We shagged and shagged and I got home around 8.00 for a run. Nice. The guy likes to go at it even more often than I do! A few times a night and in the morning as well. Good gods. It's all to the good but he is hung and I get sore!
I've been working like a dog so was looking forward to the weekend in London for Alex's birthday and a girls' night with Valentina and company at Fire in Vauxhall. I got to London Bridge and Alex and I went for a late lunch and a bottle of wine. He took my rucksack back to Sydenham and I tubed it to West Kensington. I found my friends getting ready for dinner and the club and we all laughed at how I was dressed like a cute little dyke. Fire is a gay bar so it just seemed the right thing! After dropping half a tab of E, we went to a restaurant where we know the manager. We sat out in the lovely garden and drank champagne. Everything was comped which made it even more shameful that after another half, Valentina and I got chastised and almost ejected for snogging at the table. We didn't mean any harm, we just felt good! We got to the club early and went through a police search. We knew the club would be raided because of the 6 police cars outside but we were determined to hear some great music and see some hot naked men! We dropped some more tabs (I had at least 3 through the night) and I started getting stupid high. The lights were tripping me and Valentina kept trying to gently straighten me out. Guardia in mi gli'occhi, guardia bella!
We went outside to smoke and made friends with a guy from the show 'Big Brother' who is being investigated for his possibly racist behaviour on the show. He was utterly sweet to me. He held me up and helped me find Valentina after snogging me on the middle of the dance floor. Cool. We ladies got into it a bit with the coat check folks and then made it back to a friend's flat. We hit the charlie and drank even more booze that we didn't need. I was USELESS! Valentina and I decided to go to hers where we annoyed her ex and got some sleep. Okay, I slept and she ralphed all morning. My mobile and credit cards were at the other flat so thank the gods Valentina had been using my Oyster card to cut the blow and I was able to get back. We somehow spent/lost all my money but I made it back to Alex's and took a bath before heading down to Tunbridge Wells. I was shattered so went to the pub and met Murad who took me to a nice hotel for a whole lot of hanky-panky.
The next day, after work, I went to the pub again and met some wild guys who took me to a bar round the way. Drinks were free and we were downing Laphroig like water. I played a game of chess with a sweet artist (yes, of course I won!) and tried to stay upright. Murad was lookiing for me though and happens to be barred from that place so I went back to my local. I don't remember much after that but I know there was Thai food and another hotel. I got back to mine this morning in time to get sacked. Guess I will have to travel to get that date with my shy artist though he is meeting me in a few moments to say goodbye so maybe he'll come on up to the big city. I AM still missing England...