"There is perhaps nothing so bad and so dangerous in life as fear." - Jawaharial Nehru
Drama follows me like ducklings or ants or lemmings, etc. I know. I am mental but honest. Take what you will from me and I will keep on giving, so here we go again!
My Silver Fox established me in a truly amazing flat in South London. Both our names are on the lease but I am not ready to accept him into my home- he has been unstable recently. Things were not improved when he walked in to deliver my Alessi teapot and found me in bed with a 22 year old Aussie boy. Whoops. Told him the truth- didn't shag the boy that night. Hehe. He apologised but I really didn't want to see that Aussie again anyhow (named him MC Bulge and yes, a man can be too large!).
I have been settling into my new palace like the principessa I am. Dinner parties, brawlie paintings, tantrums, and Olivia as my lovely little cleaning girl (at twice the price of a regular cleaner- nepotism). I wish you could all just come round mine for a nice meal and surprising times. :) Valentina has been and I'd actually love her to live there with me. Maybe.
Remember the kiwis Olivia and I met on Christmas Eve? I finally caught up with Tess' brother and I am reporting that he was present when my Silver Fox had his tantrum (he was hiding post-shag under the duvet sweating like a rapist). He had the best time ever telling his mates about my distraught sugardaddy and how I brought the police to remove danger. Not so funny for me since I still have a nasty bruise a week later. Got Silver Fox into anger management and my Kiwi has asked me to meet his fam in Thailand at the end of March. We hope to marry on the beach with at least some of our family members present and supportive...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Giving and Receiving
"Non me lo credo? Ingrato! Vien qui.. sfogatti.. amazzami.. fa tutto di me quel que ti piace." -Puccini
Gattina cattiva. Lei e una principessa, non? Ah, LA Principessa. Hehe. Yes, indeed my sweethearts- your lovable little naughty so-and-so is re-embracing wealth and privilege. (How many -'s can you put into one sentence without being plain silly?!) I am running all round furnishing my gorgeous new party pad. M.C. Score!!!!! Don't worry, I also have parking for the Aston and, more significantly, have retained all slut privileges.
2009 is going to be a year of luxury but also a year of exploration and personal growth. I saw Roo a few days ago and he was kind enough to help me understand a little clearer what happened between us. It was painful but so relieving to see a lantern toward clarity. I am afraid I have had to insist upon some space from my sister for both of our better good. It is tense but we are lunching in a couple days so we'll see. I miss her. Francis and M.C. Fly (my flatmates, The Boys, etc.) have adjusted alright to her absence and we will all find our way to what is comfortable and best. We're good like that.
Haven't shagged in so bloody long, I think it's rusted. Oh well, better to focus on friends and furnishings for the mo.
I am FINALLY almost finished reading the collection short stories by Julio Cortazar that I started an age ago. That guy is a trip! I mean, sicking up rabbits?!
Okay, I know what you're all waiting for. I am having my first little dinner in my new palace tomorrow night with mates and Valentina is bringing a lovely girl from out of town while I am providing Aussie boys for target practice and mate integration. Gattina's little party pad will just have to become a hub of inter-cultural bonding. Hey the UN was useless anyway, right?
Gattina cattiva. Lei e una principessa, non? Ah, LA Principessa. Hehe. Yes, indeed my sweethearts- your lovable little naughty so-and-so is re-embracing wealth and privilege. (How many -'s can you put into one sentence without being plain silly?!) I am running all round furnishing my gorgeous new party pad. M.C. Score!!!!! Don't worry, I also have parking for the Aston and, more significantly, have retained all slut privileges.
2009 is going to be a year of luxury but also a year of exploration and personal growth. I saw Roo a few days ago and he was kind enough to help me understand a little clearer what happened between us. It was painful but so relieving to see a lantern toward clarity. I am afraid I have had to insist upon some space from my sister for both of our better good. It is tense but we are lunching in a couple days so we'll see. I miss her. Francis and M.C. Fly (my flatmates, The Boys, etc.) have adjusted alright to her absence and we will all find our way to what is comfortable and best. We're good like that.
Haven't shagged in so bloody long, I think it's rusted. Oh well, better to focus on friends and furnishings for the mo.
I am FINALLY almost finished reading the collection short stories by Julio Cortazar that I started an age ago. That guy is a trip! I mean, sicking up rabbits?!
Okay, I know what you're all waiting for. I am having my first little dinner in my new palace tomorrow night with mates and Valentina is bringing a lovely girl from out of town while I am providing Aussie boys for target practice and mate integration. Gattina's little party pad will just have to become a hub of inter-cultural bonding. Hey the UN was useless anyway, right?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Melbourne and Mates
"You'll arrive on the day knowing what the interviewer is looking for- and you'll be ready to deliver." Ros Jay
So it was my idea to have a wager with my flatmates for their holiday away snowboarding in the French Alps. However, the punishment for losing as well as the point system was established by Francis. My sister and my other flatmate were along for the ride. Francis admitted that Olivia and I would certainly win but also offered up the 'whoever loses has to run around in the union jack boxers (we had bought them on a random trip back from Gordon's where we had gone to formulate the alien language of planet Zog) outside in the bitter Londra winter night.' Oh yes, in nothing else.' We agreed on the terms and scoring system as the boys crossed over on the ferry. So scoring:
1 point for shagging someone you already know.
2 points for oral with anyone (known or random).
3 points for a full on shag with a random.
The wager was pretty fair considering they were in holiday party land and we were intending to sort out the flat and bake and such (even though we ARE way prettier than them). We decided after I had only earned 1 point halfway through (by shagging my Albanian boy) to knock it down in one night. Christmas Eve to be exact. We knew one of our favourite Fulham haunts would be crawling with colonials (too far for them to get home) and with the combo of cheesy music and our utterly outrageous dance techniques, we figured on pulling around 6-8. As it played out, we hung out with a really nice group of kiwis. They were a boy, his stunning sister (think Tess of the D'Urbervilles), and a girl they knew from school. Many men tried it on us but we were having so much fun in our own little alien dancing bubble, we couldn't be asked. We decided that we were duty bound not only by the wager but by the time and effort we had invested in our appealing presentation so skipped off to another club where the music would be less enticing for silly alien dance moves. At the new club, the men where trolling and we got kind of weird vibes so, sadly for our cause, decided not one was tolerable. That is until just before we left.
A clean cut and very fit boy walked up to me and stated that I was stunning. Having two Aussie flatmates at the moment I understood that he was from down under but sounded different from my Sydney boys. He's from Melbourne. Guess that settles that. I asked Olivia to dance with him for my final trek to the loo and when I came back, they were smiling and chatting at totally normal body distance. Weird (have I mentioned what a hottie my sis is?!) but also wicked cool. We said goodbye to him and he clenched my right leg between his thighs to lean in for a kiss. Fit, fit, fit. Hmmm...
So we exchanged numbers and we, due povere gattine made our way home. Our one fervent joint wish was for a kebab. No joy! We were gutted.. and a bit pissed so decided to raid the refrigerator. The contents were all mixed together so I will just give some examples:
Mozzarella Fresca
Garlic and Coriander Naan
Caviar
Gherkins
Vegemite
Cheddar
Soured Cream
Not so frightening as a grocery list but I am sure you can imagine the concoctions. We decided during our feast of sorts to shag the Aussie boy we'd met latest at the club. He at least seemed clean and well mannered and was going on holiday the next day. Better than having this pathetic one point, I shrugged. Olivia stuffed another frightening naan concoction in her face but managed to communicate her request that he bring mates and lots of 'em!
So we phoned What-His-Name over and he arrived, dissappointingly alone. We all got comfortable in the sitting room and my sis and I proceeded to speak in a combination of Alien and Italian. The boy seemed to have no sense of humour so mia bella sorella finally turned to me and said, 'Let's just get this over with.' That sent me into more giggles but we managed to mostly undress and climb onto him. She then said, 'So how are you doing?' to What's His Name and that set me off again! Hysterical! So we shagged him and I wish i could say it was good fun or at least inconsequential but he was using his hands in such a way that we were reminded of a robot perhaps scrubbing dishes! We turned to each other and laughed away! Oh dear, oh dear! He got into her for about a minute and then into me for about half a minute before coming. We were so relieved to have gotten our points, that we told him all about our wager and how we only pulled him to try to win. Yay, 6 points! We then buggered off to sleep in Francis' bed since he has a dvd and telly. The poor guy wandered a bit and then sorted himself a taxi. We laughed alot but have decided we soooo deserve better.
The real gutwrencher is that the boys were having fun in France but found 0 (that's correct, a big old goose egg) talent to play with. We were both like, we had a crap shag for nothing?! But you know, watching them run around in an unseasonable cold night in their Union Jacks made it all worth it! What a sight!!
When it comes to The House of Love and Peace physically, Olivia and I had changed everything around. We even had a very exciting evening of spy behaviour at Ikea for bits, bobs, and essentials. We can make ANY excursion fun! We worried the Boys would be angry at the intrusion but instead, they have become a little house proud- YAY!
So, Olivia and I have fooled about with Francis some more but he seems pretty solid in not wanting to shag flatmates. Fool. No worries since we've got alot of shit to think on these days.
Has everyone missed my beautiful Valentina as much as I have?! I spent all day with her and am sleeping over tonight. You might be asking, what are you doing typing with that stunning woman in bed? But trust me mates, she is OUT. We've had some nice times together today shopping, sunning, snogging, drinking, and just telling each other for remembrance how much we love/trust/want/and missed each other. Bellissima! Now that is enough make-up blogging I think and you know the sun is up and I will need some sleep so I can't share all the other naughty bits with you just now...
So it was my idea to have a wager with my flatmates for their holiday away snowboarding in the French Alps. However, the punishment for losing as well as the point system was established by Francis. My sister and my other flatmate were along for the ride. Francis admitted that Olivia and I would certainly win but also offered up the 'whoever loses has to run around in the union jack boxers (we had bought them on a random trip back from Gordon's where we had gone to formulate the alien language of planet Zog) outside in the bitter Londra winter night.' Oh yes, in nothing else.' We agreed on the terms and scoring system as the boys crossed over on the ferry. So scoring:
1 point for shagging someone you already know.
2 points for oral with anyone (known or random).
3 points for a full on shag with a random.
The wager was pretty fair considering they were in holiday party land and we were intending to sort out the flat and bake and such (even though we ARE way prettier than them). We decided after I had only earned 1 point halfway through (by shagging my Albanian boy) to knock it down in one night. Christmas Eve to be exact. We knew one of our favourite Fulham haunts would be crawling with colonials (too far for them to get home) and with the combo of cheesy music and our utterly outrageous dance techniques, we figured on pulling around 6-8. As it played out, we hung out with a really nice group of kiwis. They were a boy, his stunning sister (think Tess of the D'Urbervilles), and a girl they knew from school. Many men tried it on us but we were having so much fun in our own little alien dancing bubble, we couldn't be asked. We decided that we were duty bound not only by the wager but by the time and effort we had invested in our appealing presentation so skipped off to another club where the music would be less enticing for silly alien dance moves. At the new club, the men where trolling and we got kind of weird vibes so, sadly for our cause, decided not one was tolerable. That is until just before we left.
A clean cut and very fit boy walked up to me and stated that I was stunning. Having two Aussie flatmates at the moment I understood that he was from down under but sounded different from my Sydney boys. He's from Melbourne. Guess that settles that. I asked Olivia to dance with him for my final trek to the loo and when I came back, they were smiling and chatting at totally normal body distance. Weird (have I mentioned what a hottie my sis is?!) but also wicked cool. We said goodbye to him and he clenched my right leg between his thighs to lean in for a kiss. Fit, fit, fit. Hmmm...
So we exchanged numbers and we, due povere gattine made our way home. Our one fervent joint wish was for a kebab. No joy! We were gutted.. and a bit pissed so decided to raid the refrigerator. The contents were all mixed together so I will just give some examples:
Mozzarella Fresca
Garlic and Coriander Naan
Caviar
Gherkins
Vegemite
Cheddar
Soured Cream
Not so frightening as a grocery list but I am sure you can imagine the concoctions. We decided during our feast of sorts to shag the Aussie boy we'd met latest at the club. He at least seemed clean and well mannered and was going on holiday the next day. Better than having this pathetic one point, I shrugged. Olivia stuffed another frightening naan concoction in her face but managed to communicate her request that he bring mates and lots of 'em!
So we phoned What-His-Name over and he arrived, dissappointingly alone. We all got comfortable in the sitting room and my sis and I proceeded to speak in a combination of Alien and Italian. The boy seemed to have no sense of humour so mia bella sorella finally turned to me and said, 'Let's just get this over with.' That sent me into more giggles but we managed to mostly undress and climb onto him. She then said, 'So how are you doing?' to What's His Name and that set me off again! Hysterical! So we shagged him and I wish i could say it was good fun or at least inconsequential but he was using his hands in such a way that we were reminded of a robot perhaps scrubbing dishes! We turned to each other and laughed away! Oh dear, oh dear! He got into her for about a minute and then into me for about half a minute before coming. We were so relieved to have gotten our points, that we told him all about our wager and how we only pulled him to try to win. Yay, 6 points! We then buggered off to sleep in Francis' bed since he has a dvd and telly. The poor guy wandered a bit and then sorted himself a taxi. We laughed alot but have decided we soooo deserve better.
The real gutwrencher is that the boys were having fun in France but found 0 (that's correct, a big old goose egg) talent to play with. We were both like, we had a crap shag for nothing?! But you know, watching them run around in an unseasonable cold night in their Union Jacks made it all worth it! What a sight!!
When it comes to The House of Love and Peace physically, Olivia and I had changed everything around. We even had a very exciting evening of spy behaviour at Ikea for bits, bobs, and essentials. We can make ANY excursion fun! We worried the Boys would be angry at the intrusion but instead, they have become a little house proud- YAY!
So, Olivia and I have fooled about with Francis some more but he seems pretty solid in not wanting to shag flatmates. Fool. No worries since we've got alot of shit to think on these days.
Has everyone missed my beautiful Valentina as much as I have?! I spent all day with her and am sleeping over tonight. You might be asking, what are you doing typing with that stunning woman in bed? But trust me mates, she is OUT. We've had some nice times together today shopping, sunning, snogging, drinking, and just telling each other for remembrance how much we love/trust/want/and missed each other. Bellissima! Now that is enough make-up blogging I think and you know the sun is up and I will need some sleep so I can't share all the other naughty bits with you just now...
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