How Low Can You Go (London Limbo II)

"Through love, I tasted the spirit of life. Curing one pain, it yielded another incurable one." - Ghalib

Who is this person to me? Matteo asked me. He does not matter to us. I love you even knowing you, he continued, it is natural you should have a shag while I was away and you should have your fun but we are cut from the same cloth: bestia e gattina. Cristiano concurred via phone while Matte pushed me against the Porsche. He's been too kind with her. You will always be a slave to your needs and I love you for it. Matteo forced my legs apart and touched me. You are so wet, he stated and pushed my head down to his crotch. Pieta, ti prego mia bestia permissa mia felice, I protested feebly. Do what you will, he said, but you will always be with me. He drove me to his house and asked if I missed the cuddles of mio polpo. I texted Reuben: Are you home? I intended to tell him I would not be back until morning. He called back and asked where I was and when I would be back. We couldn't get a taxi (which was true), I replied. I will get you a taxi, he said. Ok. The taxi arrived shortly and I ran from my beloved to chase rainbows.
I got home first and went out to the garden for a fag. Reuben came and sat down next to me to smoke. We were both a bit pissed but went upstairs to shag. I told him I had not shagged Matteo as he hammered into me.
I woke up early yet again and went down to the kiddos' playroom to curl into the fetal position around a stuffed monkey that growled when I held it too tight. I went back up after some time and slid down my lover's body to wake him a la Gattina. You certainly make waking up in the morning a pleasure, he observed in his lyrical kiwi accent. What a change from the rapid, insistent Italiano of my beast. I rode him while he asked what was on my mind. Niente... I responded. What happened to you last night? He asked. Nothing unexpected. Reuben went for a bath and I followed. Matteo is right, I said, he and I are the same and when you know me you will not tolerate me. I am bruta and you can't understand it because you are so wonderfully wholesome. I didn't want a relationship, he said, especially not with someone as intense as you. I felt a mechanical click in my chest and replied that I understood. I don't know how to keep you forever, he said, to give you reins or take them away.
I chatted with my Cricri for awhile today and he assures me we can have private lives and still be the Trio when the opportunity arises. Matteo has been brief with me today. I am sure he is displeased that I chose my "phase" over his wonderful, comforting embrace last night. He may be correct in his assessment of Gattina and her nature. After all, he knows my heart...