The Moon and Stars

"I am nearly mad about you, as much as one can be mad: I cannot bring together two ideas that you do not interpose yourself between them... But my God, what is to become of me, if you have deprived me of my reason? This is a monomania which, this morning, terrifies me." - Honore de Balzac

Was it the truth or just the coca last night, I asked. It was the truth, Reuben responded quickly and then paused. Did I promise you the moon and stars last night? He asked. Yes, you did, I said, but not the ones in the skies. My heart sped with confusion and the effort to be moderate, it is not my greatest strength. Many wonderful things were said last night, I thought to myself, but I dare not believe them. I went to make the coffee and tried to be calm. How can I discard those beautiful, lilting sentences? How can I not? I would not bind him to words spoken impetuously and under the influence of any substance. I am chasing my tail in circles and it is madness. I tell myself to minimise last night. It was a fun and happy evening with someone I like. I chastise myself with the hard-earned knowledge that true feeling is proved in action and pretty words are just that. Not that I will forget, no, I love words and these will give me many pleasant hours of reflection!
I can offer you a life where you do not need pain anymore, he told me last night. My heart melted but my mind remembered: I LIKE pain right?! I have learned how to live and (hopefully) gather wisdom despite challenges. Pain is an integral part of my existence and evolution. If it went away, I would be left with a terrifying gap in my survival mechanism. Who would want to face this chasm and try to fill it? I am reminded of the legendary lover Farhad. He was sent into the desert to prove his love by digging water out of the sand. His love was so great that he found not water, but honey and milk...
Whew... Gattina gets too melodramatic for her dear readers, no?
Back to the action: I was happy to have Silvia meet my crush and to meet her boy as well. Silvia and I have much in common and I was excited to discuss these things with her. She liked him and told me we matched very well as a couple. It made me blush a bit but I was still pleased. I am becoming enmeshed: it was actually a thrilling and scary thing to have someone who knows me as the cosmopolitan chapette see me mooning and speaking in low, solicitous, gentle tones to a guy. I am telling myself that in strength, you must show weakness. I AM that badass girl so I can view this weakness as what it is... I think... if I could just get those blasted stars out of my eyes!