Planet Zog

'The luxury of self-exposure kept her almost happy through the long evening. She thought not so much of what had happened as of how she should describe it.' -E.M. Forster

Planet Zog is a holiday destination that I visit often, usually with companions but sometimes alone. Its physical location moves about- it has been the House of Love, MC Score, Krishna's office, and most recently my brother's bathtub. I have decided that the charlie in this country is just impossibly strong and harsh for Gattina's refined London tastes. It makes me dramatic and paranoid and physically compromised. This does not mean I will stop visiting Planet Zog but I will probably choose alternate transport from now on.
I have finally delved into the pain of losing my entire London life. My flat, my lifestyle, my mates, and my fiance. Krishna has tried to be understanding but I am unfair to him. I am trying to fill the hole left by my lion and it's not his responsibility. For example, I used to get off my face on drugs or pick silly fights or act cold and uncaring and my big, strong kiwaussie would bundle me up in his arms, take my body with his, and then tell me how to behave myself in future and why. I was his precious life partner, worth all his effort and all his love. The loss of him guts me, my darlings, it truly does.
On a positive note, my writing is going well and in between drug binges, I am getting my tasks done. I allowed Krishna into my running stream of consciousness whilst I was working plot development on my novel the other day. It was new and exciting to share the madness. I hope our friendship survives the trials it is being put through now.
I am staying in touch with my girls from prison. I will never devalue that experience or forget its lessons.
In HMP Bronzefield, we were banged up after lunch for an hour every day. My padmate and I had been moved from Houseblock 1 (detox unit) to Houseblock 3 and one day in the afternoon, we noticed that there was a circular piece in the door under the flap. It was a couple inches in diameter and looked to screw out to create a hole. We thought and thought on it but I couldn't puzzle it. My padmate looked up at me as a lightbulb went off in her head. It's for cock! She said. A gloryhole?! I shouted and almost fell off my bunk. Never did get a clear answer on why it's there. Some say it's for passing meds and some say it's for the firehose in patrol states but no matter its true use, it'll always be a gloryhole to me!