Honey, You Ain't the First

'And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.' - William Shakespeare

Commitment-phobe? Me?! Go on! Yes, I went into my relationship with Kirshna with the experiential knowledge that we had a finite time together as a couple. I know my patterns so well by now that I am even getting more efficient with the time frame. It used to take me 6 months to a year to go through a cycle that now takes roughly 2 months. Yay me.
Krishna is alot like me in that we reach a certain threshold of intimacy and then end it. We usually choose different ways to end it so I was curious to see which path would dominate. Mine by a landslide. Can I get like, a medal or summat? I am being flippant but it still hurts, you know. I like Krishna. I have liked him for years. However, the boy is hard work and as he belittled me and raised his hand to me yet again yesterday... and kept calling me by his ex-wife's name, I was aware that no amount of giving or passion or sweetness on my part would give us longevity. It was too little too late when he held me in his arms later and told me he's never liked anyone as much as he likes me. Apparently he wouldn't shout at me and treat me poorly if I wasn't so important. Gee thanks.
It's not been all bad though. I have enjoyed some good times with him and some wonderful sex and rare sweet moments when we could let ourselves be vulnerable at the same time. I think he will be a bit nasty through the breakup process but, darlings, I'm sure I've had worse. :) I do not know exactly what will happen next but I very much hope we stay mates. He's a kindred and we commitmentphobic whores have got to have each others' backs, innit. Well, time to go drown my sorrows in booze, Guns n Roses, and vampire fiction. Yummmm...