Well, Fuck

'You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said--
Then you say--go slow-- I fall behind-- the second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
time after time' - Cyndi Lauper

Huh. I don't even know what to say which is odd for a chatterbox like me. I spent another lovely evening with Krishna and was utterly happy wedged between him and the dawg in bed. He sang me to sleep and we twined our fingers on the puppy after another brilliant shag. When we woke, he was humpy and I should have probably skipped the lake party with him. I am well aware of his propensity to pull away after intimacy. At the party, he treated me like a stranger and I did my best to 'be cool' but it wasn't easy. Eventually, the dawg and I went for a drive to get fags and I thought we would just come in and crash or go home. Krishna asked me to 'entertain' his friends by dancing for them. He left me alone with them whilst I muddled through the best I could. I was far too vulnerable at that point (especially not knowing Krishna's stance on 'us') but I would do just about anything for him so... feeling exploited and unhappy, I sat on the sofa next to my lover. He said he wanted to go up and boast to his mates on how cool I am and I stayed downstairs to wait him. One of his mates came down and tried to talk me into mutual masturbation. When I declined, he proceeded alone. Great. Where the fuck was Krishna? He got me into this and left me vulnerable. I eventually found him sleeping on an upstairs sofa and told him his mate was inappropriate. He accused me of lying. Wow. I begged him to come sleep with me on the floor but he refused. We argued and I ended up with a nose full of coffee table. Kids, I have only had a broken nose once before and I was younger. The sad thing is that my heart hurts heaps more than my face. Heaps.